


Learning to Breathe Without You

by RosyWitch



Category: X-Men (Original Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Ikr? soft and sweet in the beginning and I gut ya, Porn With Plot, Self-Insert, This whole thing is entirely self-indulgent, angst and hurt/comfort comes in the later chapters, starts with smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2018-12-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 03:49:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17236841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosyWitch/pseuds/RosyWitch
Summary: “Getting a midnight snack, are we?” He reached forward and plucked a carton from the pile on the counter.“Feel free to have some! If it’s your favorite, I won’t take it. We’ve got plenty. Plus I’m sure that’s what you came down for, right? A sweet treat before bed?” She giggled, completely unaware of what Kurt suddenly thought of.“Indeed. But now I believe I want a different sweet treat.” He set the ice cream down and leveled his intense gaze at her.





	Learning to Breathe Without You

**Author's Note:**

> This was written 2 years ago and was my first smut which I've decided to expand into a multi-chapter. I wrote it for a friend, but it's become indulgent for both of us.

For all intents and purposes, it was a calm and quiet night at the X-mansion. It had been nearly six months since the Battle of Alcatraz and things were finally starting to calm down. Most of the students returned for a new year, while others never came back. Their parents had deemed it too dangerous to have their child live in a boarding school that had a giant target painted on its back. But there were still new entrees trickling in every now and then.

 

Jocie, one of the new students, was making her silent way to the kitchen. She had been here for a few months now and was confident in her abilities to find her way around in the dark. Despite this, she kept a wary eye out for any teachers, although it helped that in the blink of an eye, she could vanish into the shadows. Fondly dubbed Chameleon, she had gained many friends here, all who loved and supported her through her training.

 

But tonight, she was edging down the corridor alone. She grumbled to herself about how it was unfair that just because she could turn invisible, didn’t mean she was a delivery girl. Her best friend and roommate, Rose, had demanded she needed several pints of ice cream before she could even consider finishing the 30 page thesis assigned by the newest science professor. Personally, Jocie believed that with or without ice cream, Rose would produce one of the best papers in the class; she was just that good with science and her obvious crush on Professor McCoy wouldn’t let her write anything less, lest she embarrass herself.

 

Despite this, Jocie sympathized with her friend and found herself craving the sweet concoction as well. If she wasn’t mistaken, she remembered seeing a few cartons in the freezer while she was helping to clean up the kitchen after dinner that same night.  

 

Sure enough, the glorious boxes of frozen goodness were waiting for her. Believing herself to be safe, now that she’d successfully snuck to the kitchen, she began to load up spoons, two bowls, and all the toppings into her bookbag.

 

 _It’s too bad Kurt isn’t here, this would be a lot easier,_ Jocie thought wistfully. It hadn’t taken long for the shy young woman to make friends with the resident teleporter. Rose had surmised that it was because they were so similar; both felt outcast in society, either by appearance or personality, and so they had both found ways to melt into non-existence, the world unaware.

 

Jocie had been slow to admit it, but her roommate finally dragged out the confession that she liked Kurt, perhaps even more than a friend. But while the ridiculously over excited brunette had squealed and floated a few inches off of her bed in romantic giddiness, the petite blonde had jumped after her, begging her not to breathe a word to anyone.  Even though Rose swore on her mother’s grave (which wasn’t particularly comforting considering her mother was still kicking), most of the school already knew of Jocelyn’s infatuation with the roguishly charming teleporter. It was almost painfully obviously because any time they were seen together, people reported physical cartoon hearts popping up above their heads.

 

 _Or maybe a lot harder.... Even if he’s just sitting there, he’s so distracting...._ She sighed, picturing Kurt in his favorite window seat, when the light hit just right and illuminated his beautiful cheekbones, making his wonderful golden eyes glow. She was so wrapped up in her daydream, she completely failed to notice Kurt’s rather obvious entrance, complete with clouds of smoke and the slight tang of brimstone.  Only when he reached out a finger and tapped her on the head did she whirl around with a gasp and disappeared from sight.

 

“I’m sorry!” Kurt whispered frantically. It took a second or two, but gradually Jocie bled back into existence, a hand to her heart.

 

“Kurt? Why would you scare me like that?” She was partially joking, feeling comfortable enough with him to know he’d recognize her teasing. Sure enough, he cocked his head, a small smirk gracing his face.

 

“You’re so cute when you vanish.” This set her heart pounding again. He had been like this for the past week, making small compliments and giving off a flirting air whenever they talked. Most of the time, Jocie had to leave the conversation in a rush, unable to think beyond her heated cheeks and flip-flopping heart. Why was he being like this? She couldn’t fathom.

 

On the other side of the breakfast island, the blue mutant was watching Jocelyn’s face flush red and her fiddling fingers, yearning to reach across and take them into his own hand, calming them with soft strokes of his thumb. A week ago, Ororo had suggested that he make a move, claiming that everyone was tired of watching their back and forth when the attraction was obvious. This had stunned him; he thought he was being so careful!

 

But with the weather goddess’s urging and advice, he had finally dredged up enough courage to compliment her hair the next day. After that, each consecutive compliment came easier and easier; her eyes, her complexion, her grace, her kindness. Kurt found he couldn’t stop now that the dam had fallen and his words swelled like a flood on his tongue. Every time he saw her, he found something new to admire and each lovely attribute was seared in his mind and heart, nestling like coals in the depths of his soul.

 

He honestly hadn’t meant to cross her path tonight, only looking for a glass of water before he retired to bed. But now that he was face to face with the object of his affections, glowing warmly in the low kitchen lighting and looking down demurely from his gaze, he felt his chest tighten as his breath escaped him. He also found his body reacting in other ways, blood flooding down his torso, making his slim fitting sleeping shorts tighten without warning.

 

Gulping dryly, he tried to focus on anything else, not wanting to let Jocie become aware of his shameful reaction. He’d only been trying to court her for a week! And yet, a darker part of his mind conjured up delicious images that he could only dream of. He shook his head slightly, willing to remain in a godly state of mind.  

 

“Getting a midnight snack, are we?” He reached forward and plucked a carton from the pile on the counter. It was his favorite, mint chocolate chip and when he told Jocie this, she smiled.

 

“Feel free to have some! If it’s your favorite, I won’t take it. We’ve got plenty. Plus I’m sure that’s what you came down for, right? A sweet treat before bed?” She giggled, completely unaware of what Kurt suddenly thought of. He mustered his courage and prayed that this was the moment he’d been waiting for.

 

“Indeed. But now I believe I want a different sweet treat.” He set the ice cream down and leveled such an intense gaze at her, she gulped instinctively and started to blush.

 

“W-we have cookies in t-the cupboard... I think...” She trailed into silence as he advanced around the counter, like a tiger, slow and powerful.

 

“Hmmm... something sweeter.” At his final comment, he swept up right next to Jocie, pressing her back against the counter. The blush on her cheeks and her full pupils told him everything and his lips curled in satisfaction.

 

“Kurt, w-what-?” The girl stuttered. But Kurt didn't give her the chance to finish before bending down and stealing her lips for a kiss. It was short and just the kind of sweet Kurt was craving and when it ended, he leaned back to witness his glorious destruction. Jocie was now a paler pink than her normal blush and it set her cheeks aglow with need. When she opened her eyes, for they had closed in bliss moments ago, he saw his own need reflected in those beautiful blue irises.

 

“Du hast wunderschöne augen...” Jocie didn’t have the slightest idea what he murmured, even if her mind wasn’t in a haze. She was still reeling from the kiss, unable to process what had happened, but her body only scream for more.

 

“Perhaps it would be better to continue this in more... _private_ quarters.” He glanced around warily, not wanting to be interrupted, not when he had finally made the first step. Jocie only gulped, eager and for once, her mind seemed to be in sync with her heart.

 

“It’s about damn time.” She growled. Kurt glanced back down in surprise, only to give a startled yelp as she fisted his loose shirt in her hand and yanked him down for another kiss. The first one had been sweet and everything she had dreamed of, but this was a messy clash of lips and biting teeth.

 

Kurt bit back a moan at her ferocity, his inner demon smirking and urging him on. He got so excited, he accidentally teleported back to his room, bringing Jocie with him.

 

“Woah! Warn a girl!” Jocie jumped back, her balance off after dropping out of thin air.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry!” Kurt froze, inwardly panicking, afraid that he was too forward and that perhaps this was too fast. Jocie saw his dismay and she boldly stepped back into his space.

 

“Don’t be. I don’t want you to regret any of this... I know I won’t.” Normally, she wouldn’t be so daring, but her daydreams were becoming reality right in front of her and she refused to let them slip by. With a slight trembling hand, she reached up to trace the faint raised lines on his beautiful blue face, something she had wanted to do the minute she saw him. It was more than that though; she wanted to trace every scar on his body and know their story, their pain.

 

“A-are you sure?” Jocie found that she couldn’t turn away from his gaze, pinned in place. In answer, she traced her way down his neck, his arm, to his hand and entwined her fingers with his. He understood immediately and brought her hand up to kiss delicately. But he found he needed more and returned to ravishing her.

 

Carefully, he lifted her up and onto the edge of his bed, never breaking the kiss. With the grace only granted to an acrobat, he nimbly followed and pressed her back and back until she was flush against the mattress. As he broke away to nip down her neck, she realized their position and was astonished that she hadn’t even noticed they were moving. She had let her mind slip away and her body took control.

 

“Aah! Kurt!” She hissed, his fangs nipping gently at her delicate skin. But rather than being scared, she felt a tingle in her lower stomach she’d never felt before. A rapid flush was making its way up her body and heating her from the inside out.

 

 _Oh my god! What is this? He’s so..._ Her thoughts faded into non-existence when she felt his hands wander under the edge of her shirt to skim up and down her ribs softly. She shivered involuntarily, feeling ticklish for a second before it melted to pleasure.

 

“Du bist so weich...” He whispered and she had to bite her lip to stop the whimper. His voice in that tone, curling beautifully around the foreign constants was like a liquid fire in her gut. Reaching out, her hands found his chest, rock hard from training in the danger room as an X-men.

 

 _He’s... perfect, that’s what he is..._ As Kurt continued his conquest of her collarbone, she went on her own exploration, feeling her way down every rib and muscle contour. She trailed further and further down, coming to his narrow hips which nudged forward at her touch. It then became apparent how into this he was.

 

 _Well, there’s no coming back from this,_ Jocie blushed, every nerve aware of where she was and every bit of contact between them was send sparks flying.

 

For the next few minutes, the silence of Kurt’s room was filled with muted moans and soft sighs. It felt like hours for Jocelyn, each second that his fingers were on her an eternity.

 

Kurt took his time peeling back every layer that was hiding her from his ravenous eyes and he took immense pleasure in marking every inch of newly exposed skin with his teeth, followed by his gentle tongue. Jocie was sure this was what Heaven felt like.

 

But even so, she grew impatient, her body following an ancient primal instinct and she began to moan for _more._ Lower down on the bed, currently occupied by the smooth curve of her womanly hips, he smirked.

 

“So impatient, meine kleine Maus.” Hearing his beautiful tenor voice so low and husky and _so damn arousing_  only served to make her wetter. Growling, she took charge again and yanked him back up to her level.

 

“Pants off. _Now._ ” Finding himself once again surprised by her sudden courage, he couldn’t comply fast enough. Before either of them knew it, they were only in their underwear, breathing hard and unable to stop the inevitable, even if Magneto himself crashed through the wall and started tap-dancing.  

 

Kissing her soundly, his tongue seeking hers, tangled together, he slowly unclipped her bra and let it fall away. This drew his attention, nipping and sucking love bites on the soft flesh, but couldn’t deter him from his main goal.

 

With every touch of his lips, Jocie floated higher and higher. And when she felt him slip his thumb under the band of her panties and teasingly stroke downward, closer to her center, she bucked uncontrollably.

 

“Kurt, if you don't hurry up, I swear...” She panted and pushed herself up, arching into him. She was all for the foreplay, but if he didn't take her right then and there, she was sure she'd catch on fire. He conceded and quickly rid himself of his boxers, taking a second to slip a condom on before eagerly returning back to his position over her. His entire being was aching with need for her, right down to his tail and he couldn't stop himself from dipping low and grinding slowly between her legs.

 

“Mmmyesssss...” He hissed. God’s wounds, but she was so wet. And for _him._ Her fingers tangled delightfully in his hair, moaning as he rocked against her once more and removed the final barrier of clothing between them with a powerful rip. A part of him felt a pinch of guilt, but hearing how her breath caught at his display, it was washed away by a wave of desire.

 

“Are you sure, mein Schatz?” He asked gently, resisting the urge to sink into her welcoming heat. Despite the fact that she could barely stand to wait one more second, her heart skipped a beat at his question. She never dreamed her first time would be with such a wonderful, gentle man and yet here he was, making sure she was comfortable every step of the way.

 

“Kurt, I’ve never been so happy as I am right now. There isn’t anyone I’d rather be with right now, for my first time.” She shyly admitted. Hearing this, his eyes widened and she heard him whisper in German before leaning back down to kiss her lovingly. He moved on to cover her face and collarbone reverently with tiny kisses that made her heart melt further.

 

“I’ll go slowly.” He promised and carefully began to slide in. At first, the stretch felt odd, but he was so attentively distracting her by mouthing his way down her chest, she began to relax around his girth. As he continued to drive forward, he sucked a nipple in and rolled it expertly between his teeth, making her cry out in pleasure.

 

When their hips were flush together, they both stopped, trembling and breathless. And then he rolled his hips smoothly and Jocie was lost in a sea of bliss. She was unsure of what to do, but she tried to let her body do the talking, metaphorically. It responded to his every touch so easily, and she felt the heat flooding her entire body begin to build to unbearable levels.

 

Kurt wasn’t doing much better. He was keeping it together to make sure that every thrust and rock of his hips was to make her feel good, but he was starting to lose himself in her soft body, her delectable skin that he couldn’t stop marking. It didn’t help that every thrust would make her mewl in pleasure and quiver around him. Panting, he dropped down on his elbows, his arms trembling with exertion. But he couldn’t stop his hips; she was just too much. He could stay there in that moment forever, her spread below him like a feast, her every movement elevating him higher.

 

It didn’t take long to reach the edge; they were both so aroused and swept up in the moment and in each other, they came almost at the exact same moment.

 

“I- I think I’m going to- to- oh my god- KURT!” She arched up wildly, every nerve inside lit up and she couldn’t help but grind up against him.

 

“Yes, yes, ohhhh meine Liebe, meine Göttin, jaaaaa...” He groaned deeply, his hips stuttering and spasming against her slick heat, following her over the edge. For a moment, they rode their highs together, their bodies still moving against each other before tiredly halting.

 

He was careful to drop to her side as he pulled out and removed the condom, not wanting to crush her petite body. But as he did, she immediately rolled into his side, snuggling deeply into him. Despite his fatigue, he smiled and wrapped an arm around her, his heart feeling like it would burst.

 

“So... I don’t suppose you want to be mine, ja?” He jokingly whispered in her hair as he traced gentle patterns on her arm, more content then he had been in a long time.

 

“Only if you promise to be mine in return...” She whispered back and he could hear the smile in her voice. His heart gave a little leap and he pulled her closer, intending to never let her go, not even when the morning came, not even if every enemy tried to rip them apart. This was one thing he’d fight for to the death.

  
_Because,_ he realized, _She’s worth it. Any fight, any hardship, I’ll have her. And she’ll have me. I swear it by the Heavens._  He let this thought warm him inside and out as he rocked her off to a deep, peaceful sleep, wrapped in each other’s loving arms.

 

* * *

 

 

_Meanwhile...._

 

Rose fumed as she floated in circles around their shared room. She had returned to her thesis once she sent Jocie on her mission. She was going to finish that damn paper and impress the hell out of Dr. McCoy and woo him through science even if it killed her. Which it might because it had been an hour since she had seen Jocie!

 

“Where the hell is my ice cream?!?!”

 

 


End file.
